I Will Survive

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Jkldesign                          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                           향한 칼날이

                                                                                                                                           두려울 건 없었다.

                                                                                                                                           아플 거라고.

                                                                                                                                           아프면 되니까

                                                                                                                                           문제일 건 없었다.

                                                                                                                                           어제처럼.

                                                                                                                                           항상 지나면 어제일

                                                                                                                                           오늘에

                                                                                                                                           새삼 악으로

                                                                                                                                           울 것도 없었다.

 

                                                                                                                                           나는 항상 정지였고

                                                                                                                                           살아 있었으니까.

                                                                                                                                           I Will Survive

                                                                                                                                           Gloria Gaynor의

                                                                                                                                           숨찬 목소리

                                                                                                                                           벼랑에서, 문득

                                                                                                                                           멈춰 바라본.

                                                                                                                                           그도, 단지 나라서일 뿐

                                                                                                                                           지나치려면

                                                                                                                                           바람처럼.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                           I Will Survive 2,    2006-03-06

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                           후두두 떨어지는 비처럼  

                                                                                                                                           지나간 시간들이

                                                                                                                                           머리에 낙석으로 쏟아져 내리고

                                                                                                                                           'I Will Survive'    

                                                                                                                                           빠른 템포 속 묘한 서글픔

                                                                                                                                           물러 설데 없는 숨죽인 생존

                                                                                                                                           무슨 위기의식이었을까.

                                                                                                                                           별반 다를 바 없는 사람의 행태가

                                                                                                                                           못 견디게 지루해서

                                                                                                                                           삶을 벗을 수 없다면

                                                                                                                                           이 옷, 저 옷의 외유가

                                                                                                                                           찬란한 망각처럼 유혹했다.

 

                                                                                                                                           지금까지 습관으로가 아닌

                                                                                                                                           나로 살 수 있다면

                                                                                                                                           길들여 지지 않은 원초를 찾아

                                                                                                                                           어머니의 자궁 속으로라도

                                                                                                                                           회귀하고 싶었다.

 

                                                                                                                                           매일 회를 뜨듯

                                                                                                                                           나를 뜨고, 다른 이를 뜨며 

                                                                                                                                           관계를 자르고   

                                                                                                                                           퍼런 난도질의 되풀이

                                                                                                                                           누가 밀어내고 있는 건지

                                                                                                                                           내가 뒷걸음을 치는 건지

                                                                                                                                           그저 혼자 나동그라지며

                                                                                                                                           쉽지 않았던 원형 찾기

 

                                                                                                                                           진리든 순리든 이름 붙여

                                                                                                                                           애써 가두어  

                                                                                                                                           핏빛으로 논리화하면서까지 

                                                                                                                                           내가 보고자 한 것이

                                                                                                                                           과연 무엇이었을까.

 

                                                                                                                                           꿈은 꿈으로

                                                                                                                                           이상은 이상으로

                                                                                                                                           귀결되어짐을 알면서도

                                                                                                                                           어쩌면, 간단한 결론에

                                                                                                                                           굳이 돌아 돌아 늦추었던

                                                                                                                                           허망한 순함이 아니었을까.

 

                                                                                                                                           너의 따뜻한 말 한 마디에

                                                                                                                                           순간으로 무릎이 꺾이는 걸 보며

                                                                                                                                           쓸쓸함에, 비어 있는

                                                                                                                                           내 정체성에 눈물이 났다.

                                                                                                                                           이는 빈 들판에 서서

                                                                                                                                           휘이휘이 두 팔을 내젓던 

                                                                                                                                           내 삶의 반증이기도 했다.

 

                                                                                                                                           그저 품는 하늘을 바라보니

                                                                                                                                           毒 풀고, 너에게 가만히 기대어

                                                                                                                                           휴식하는 내가 보인다.

 

                                                                                                                                           그냥 그렇게 있어줘

                                                                                                                                           그렇게 등 뒤에 가만히 있다가

                                                                                                                                           내가 경기하듯 놀라, 뒤돌아보면

                                                                                                                                           그저 웃어줘, 잘한다고

                                                                                                                                           나 잘하고 있다고

                                                                                                                                           괜찮다고 이야기해줘

 

                                                                                                                                           그러면 돼

                                                                                                                                           오늘만큼만, 따뜻하게

                                                                                                                                           적당한 거리의 이만큼만

 

                                                                                                                                           마치 짙은 어둠 속

                                                                                                                                           빛을 향해 무작정으로

                                                                                                                                           스스로를 잘라 먹는 부나비

                                                                                                                                           어쩌면 사는 건

                                                                                                                                           그런 건지도 몰라.

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                           I Will Survive 1,   2004-01-01

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

 

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive