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詩/글 나들이

Joseph Brodsky, 요세프 브로드스키 / 소리 없는 노래

by 알려하지마 2010. 7. 12.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tasha Luminosity   (Romania) / Selfportrait

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                  소리 없는 노래

 

 

                                                                                                                  Joseph Brodsky (요세프 브로드스키, Russia,  B.1940)

                                                                                                                                                                  1987년 노벨 문학상

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                  수수께께 같은 말은 아니고
                                                                                                                  쌍안경처럼 눈물로 무장한 눈으로는
                                                                                                                  도저히 생각할 수 없는 사실이지만
                                                                                                                  당신이 그 땅에 있는 나를 다시 생각하기라도 한다면


                                                                                                                  그러나 그것은 환상.
                                                                                                                  그 환상의 줄은
                                                                                                                  잉크와 같이 검은 연못에서
                                                                                                                  이 놀라운 사건의 바로 그날을 낚아 올리기엔
                                                                                                                  너무도 연약하구나.


                                                                                                                  당신이 7대양 너머
                                                                                                                  한 치도 더 가깝지 않은 그 먼 땅 건너에서
                                                                                                                  그 여름날 향수에 젖어 나를 생각할 때
                                                                                                                  (다시 한 번 강조하는데, 
                                                                                                                  눈물은 과거를 빼고는 모든 것의 질서를 흐트러 놓는다)
                                                                                                                  우리들 사이를 가로막고 있는
                                                                                                                  수많은 아득한 바다와 들판을 생각하며 한숨 지을 때
                                                                                                                  당신에게 그보다 더 슬픈 일은 없으리라.
                                                                                                                  허무의 행렬을 이끌어 가고 있는 것은
                                                                                                                  다름아닌 당신 자신이라는 것을
                                                                                                                  알게 되리, 당신은.


                                                                                                                  문제는 
                                                                                                                  바로 당신의 오만일까
                                                                                                                  아니면 나 자신의 망상일까.
                                                                                                                  어쩌면 과감한 결론을 내리기엔
                                                                                                                  아직 때가 이른 것일까.


                                                                                                                  조그만 악마들에게서
                                                                                                                  당신을 보호하는 데 실패만 거듭한 인간이
                                                                                                                  그러나 이 무거운 짐에서
                                                                                                                  당신을 벗어나게 할 수 있다는 것은
                                                                                                                  놀라운 일이네.


                                                                                                                  미래는 암흑과도 같은 것.
                                                                                                                  한밤중의 정적에 비하면 그 미래는
                                                                                                                  우리들이 함께 눈으로 가늠하기엔
                                                                                                                  너무도 추상적이라네.


                                                                                                                  우리는 헤어졌으므로
                                                                                                                  그 미래가 닥쳐왔다는 건 이미 증명된 셈-
                                                                                                                  그 속에는 이제 너무나 확실한
                                                                                                                  우리들의 미래가 있을 뿐이네.


                                                                                                                  어쩌면 너무 오랫동안
                                                                                                                  눈보라의 포효와 원시적인 절규가
                                                                                                                  조용히 살림을 꾸려 가려는 희망을
                                                                                                                  무참히 저버리고 말았던 것일까.


                                                                                                                  그 미래 속의 어떤 것은
                                                                                                                  때로 당신의 마음을 위로하고
                                                                                                                  얼마간 당신 가슴에 평안을 주리니.
                                                                                                                  내 이야기가 예언처럼
                                                                                                                  당신의 가슴을 촉촉이 적시는 것처럼


                                                                                                                  세헤라자데가 들려준 것처럼
                                                                                                                  나의 공포는 죽은 후의 것인데
                                                                                                                  그러나 그녀의 공포는
                                                                                                                  이 세상이 죽음과 함께 하는 것.
                                                                                                                  그러니 내 사랑,
                                                                                                                  독사 같은 혀를 놀리는 것일지라도
                                                                                                                  나로 하여금 당신을 위로하도록 해주오.
                                                                                                                  눈 속에서 그들의 그림자가
                                                                                                                  유클리드처럼 승리를 얻을지라도.

 


                                                                                                                  그 숱한 나날의 여름날
                                                                                                                  헤아리기조차 지겨운
                                                                                                                  그 많은 바다와 하늘 너머로
                                                                                                                  당신이 그 땅에 있는 나를 생각할 때


                                                                                                                  그건 견디어 낼 수 없을 만큼 힘들기 때문에
                                                                                                                  당신은 눈물로 당신의 눈을 무장하고
                                                                                                                  한 장의 흰 종이를 펼쳐
                                                                                                                  펜을 쥐리라.


                                                                                                                  마치 하늘의 버팀목처럼
                                                                                                                  두 개의 아주 조그만 점 사이에
                                                                                                                  하나의 직선을 그린다.
                                                                                                                  우리는 쭈그러들고 말리라,
                                                                                                                  시간에 의해
                                                                                                                  (누가 알겠는가, 
                                                                                                                  그때쯤이면 우리는 보이지 않게 되고
                                                                                                                  마침내 점처럼 작아져서
                                                                                                                  명성을 얻은 것처럼 의기양양해질지).
                                                                                                                  어쨌든 이별은


                                                                                                                  똑바로 그은 하나의 직선이다. 
                                                                                                                  그리고 그것은 데이트에 굶주린 연인들처럼
                                                                                                                  당신과 나 서로간에 바라보는 눈길에 의해
                                                                                                                  수직의 예리한 핀이 떠다니는
                                                                                                                  천체로 기어 올라 가리라
                                                                                                                  (왜냐하면, 
                                                                                                                  천사들이 다투는 왕국을 빼놓고는
                                                                                                                  그것들이 숨을 만한 동굴이 없기 때문에).
                                                                                                                  그것은 정말 멋진 삼각형이 아닌가!


                                                                                                                  그 모습을 한 번 분석해 보라.
                                                                                                                  그것은 또 다른 계절에 우리들로 하여금
                                                                                                                  땀을 뻘뻘 흘리며 깨어나도록 강요하고
                                                                                                                  열린 수도 꼭지를 잡은 채로
                                                                                                                  그 아래 머리를 처박게 하는구나.


                                                                                                                  뭐든 몽땅 불태워 버릴 듯한 악의에 의해
                                                                                                                  마음이 불타 버리는 것을 막기 위해
                                                                                                                  만약 우리 두 사람이
                                                                                                                  그러한 운명에서 벗어나고
                                                                                                                  질투와 불길한 전조와 허위와 낭비와 혜성과 아편과
                                                                                                                  순수한 악의의 잔을 마시지 않는다면
                                                                                                                  그것은 결국 그와 유사한 것을 묘사하도록
                                                                                                                  우리들을 유혹하기 위해 존재했던 것이리라.


                                                                                                                  그것을 분석해 보자.
                                                                                                                  시간은 우리들 위로 흐르고 있네.
                                                                                                                  질식할 듯한 맹목적인 포옹은
                                                                                                                  그 자체가 별도로 우리를 속박하는
                                                                                                                  보이지 않는 세계의 서약이리니.


                                                                                                                  이별, 그것은
                                                                                                                  서로의 내부에 숨어 있는 것.
                                                                                                                  우리는 서로의 공간을 피하고
                                                                                                                  우리의 어깨뼈는 경계선을 이룩하네.
                                                                                                                  경계선을 뛰어넘을 수는 없다네.


                                                                                                                  배반한 자는
                                                                                                                  백 배나 강하게 때려도 이상할 것 없다.
                                                                                                                  펜과 종이를 들라
                                                                                                                  (후자는 이곳의 낡은 우주를 상징한다).
                                                                                                                  그리고 적절한 균형을 찾고나면


                                                                                                                  세계는 한계를 갖고 있으니까
                                                                                                                  모든 공간이 어떤 천사들에 의해서가 아니라면
                                                                                                                  성층권의 불타는 듯한 감정으로
                                                                                                                  보호된다고 사람들은 상상할지도 모른다네.
                                                                                                                  우주와 같은 종이와
                                                                                                                  (우리들을 갈기갈기 찢어 놓듯이 자른))

                                                                                                                  직선의 균형을 찾으면
                                                                                                                  이 도안 밑에 지도책을 펼쳐 놓고
                                                                                                                  아주 조그맣게 분류하라.


                                                                                                                  다음에 그 줄들을
                                                                                                                  지도의 격자 무늬에 맞추라.
                                                                                                                  인생이, 사랑하는 사람들을 어떻게 압도하는가를
                                                                                                                  우리는 그때 알게 되리라.


                                                                                                                  그 줄의 진정한 길이를 우리가 알고 있다고,
                                                                                                                  그것이 어떤 연인을 특정지운다고,
                                                                                                                  더 정확히는 그 두 사람이
                                                                                                                  만나지 못할 왕국의 그림을 특정지운다고
                                                                                                                  가정해 보라.
                                                                                                                  만일 그 가정이 진실한 것이 된다면

                                                                                                                  (아, 그럴 가능성이 크다!)
                                                                                                                  다음엔 이 줄의 한가운데를 들어 올리라.


                                                                                                                  수직은 그 두 개의 꿰뚫어 보는 듯한 눈빛의 합계이며
                                                                                                                  그들의 억센 힘과 돌출부 때문에
                                                                                                                  우리들 춤의 정점은
                                                                                                                  성층권 안에 있게 되리라.


                                                                                                                  그것들의 합계가
                                                                                                                  보다 높이 올라간다는 것은 거의 불가능하다네.
                                                                                                                  왜냐하면 이 이등변의 각 측면은
                                                                                                                  시도에 불과하기 때문이라네.


                                                                                                                  이렇듯 적대적인 카오스를 조심스럽게 더듬는 
                                                                                                                  두 탐조등의 불빛은
                                                                                                                  밤 구름 저 멀리를 교차하는
                                                                                                                  그들의 환상의 목표를 발견하네.


                                                                                                                  그러나 그 목표는
                                                                                                                  병사들의 표적은 아니다.
                                                                                                                  그 한가운데엔 거울 같은 것이 있어
                                                                                                                  몇 사람은 그것을 응시하지만
                                                                                                                  서로 똑바로 쳐다보기를 겁낸다.


                                                                                                                  그리하여 그 거대한 무리의 한 쪽인 나를 제외한
                                                                                                                  다른 사람은 당신을 위해
                                                                                                                  이 진부한 함수의 공리에 덤벼들 것이네.


                                                                                                                  그곳에서는
                                                                                                                  모든 종류의 알려진 허수아비들이
                                                                                                                  우리들 눈을 어둡게 하여
                                                                                                                  인생은 공식적인 것이 되고
                                                                                                                  우리들로 하여금 자신의 각도를,
                                                                                                                  모퉁이를 정하라고 말한다네.


                                                                                                                  그것이 바로 주어지는 것이다.
                                                                                                                  모든 세월과 모든 앞날의 전망을 가장하여
                                                                                                                  또 다른 애매모호하고 어색한 문제의 모양으로
                                                                                                                  우리에게 주어지는 것이다.


                                                                                                                  그곳이 우리들 만남의 장소라네.
                                                                                                                  구름 속의 한 곳, 천사의 동굴,
                                                                                                                  천체의 정좌, 일종의 모퉁이-
                                                                                                                  멋진 곳이라고 나도 인정해야만 한다네.


                                                                                                                  이 양털로 뒤덮인,
                                                                                                                  단지 우리들 눈에만 보이는 과수원에 숨어 있는
                                                                                                                  우리를 잡을 사람은
                                                                                                                  아무도 없다네.
                                                                                                                  그것은 오로지 무엇인가를 획득하기 위한
                                                                                                                  궁극적인 시도이려니.


                                                                                                                  앞으로 다가올 몇 년 안에
                                                                                                                  잘해야 우리는 죽은 직후에나 만나게 되리라.
                                                                                                                  우리는 이 둥지에 익숙해지도록
                                                                                                                  애쓰지 않으면 안 되리라.
                                                                                                                  밤이면 꾸미고 다듬고
                                                                                                                  모든 고독한 생각들의 쓰레기들과
                                                                                                                  입에 담지 못할 말들로
                                                                                                                  우리들 둥지에 쌓아올릴
                                                                                                                  모든 깃털을 모으자.


                                                                                                                  그리하여 머잖아 자랑하며 뽐낼 수 있게
                                                                                                                  많은 것을 손에 넣자.
                                                                                                                  별의 지위,
                                                                                                                  구름 때문에 거의 영향을 받지 않는
                                                                                                                  본질적인 빛까지.
                                                                                                                  왜냐하면 유클리드는
                                                                                                                  천체가 두 개의 모퉁이가
                                                                                                                  또 다른 세 번째 모퉁이와 합치도록
                                                                                                                  스스로 손을 썼기 때문에.
                                                                                                                  그것은 결혼이었다.


                                                                                                                  그것이 그때 우리에게 주어진 것이다.
                                                                                                                  꽤나 오랫동안,
                                                                                                                  우리가 관 속에 들어갈 때까지.
                                                                                                                  이별-서로의 시야 밖으로 나가는 것.
                                                                                                                  그 정상으로부터 우리들은 자주 관찰되었지.
                                                                                                                  너무나 빈번하게,
                                                                                                                  밤이나 낮이나,
                                                                                                                  동반구나 서반구나 어느 쪽의 하늘 아래서나.
                                                                                                                  그리곤 우리는 결국
                                                                                                                  모든 것을 꿰뚫어 보는 눈에 의해
                                                                                                                  완전히 노예가 되어 버린지도 모른다네.


                                                                                                                  진실된 노예가
                                                                                                                  얼마나 안전하게 어둠을 가두어 놓았든
                                                                                                                  이 빛나는 눈동자를 그대의 도표에 밀착시키라.
                                                                                                                  뭐든 볼 수 있는 눈이 떠올라
                                                                                                                  우리에게 어떤 말을 하게 만들기 전에!


                                                                                                                  따라서 이별은
                                                                                                                  우리의 날카로운 세 개의 각도의
                                                                                                                  합계를 의미하네.
                                                                                                                  모든 고통이 (이성을 찾자) 그들 서로의
                                                                                                                  비탄의 산물에 지나지 않더라도
                                                                                                                  그것은 다른 어떤 것보다
                                                                                                                  대지의 모든 풍요로움을 합친 것보다 강하다네.

 


                                                                                                                  너무 현학적이라고 말할지도 모르지.
                                                                                                                  그래, 현학적이다.
                                                                                                                  어쩌면 비탄과 함께 하는
                                                                                                                  낯뜨거운 숨바꼭질일지도 모른다.
                                                                                                                  그러나 상상해 보라.
                                                                                                                  바다의 수평선 위에 떠 있는 별,
                                                                                                                  그것은 과연 무엇인가?
                                                                                                                  (지나치게 고상한 스타일에 고집하지 않기 위해 
                                                                                                                  말투를 바꾼 것을 용서하라)
                                                                                                                  우주 표면에 떠 있는 빛에 닦인
                                                                                                                  한 알의 곡식 이외에
                                                                                                                  아무것도 아니다.


                                                                                                                  현학적이라고? 아마 그럴지도 모른다.
                                                                                                                  신만이 알고 있다.
                                                                                                                  갑작스럽고 억지스런 동의라고 오해하지 말라.
                                                                                                                  결국 이 세상에 현학적이지 않은 것이
                                                                                                                  어디 있겠는가.


                                                                                                                  신은 알고 있다, 너무 늦었다.
                                                                                                                  나는 깊은 수면의 유혹 속으로 아득히 빠져 든다.
                                                                                                                  창문 너머 보이는 겨울의 임종은
                                                                                                                  조금도 봄을 예고하지 않는다.
                                                                                                                  결과를 이미 들켜버린
                                                                                                                  부질없는 원인과도 같다.


                                                                                                                  내 마음은
                                                                                                                  당신이나 나의 뺨을 때리고 있는 우리들 자신의 손바닥과
                                                                                                                  기묘한 숫자, 각도, 모퉁이들로 가득 차 있다.


                                                                                                                  언젠가 당신이 날 생각할 때면
                                                                                                                  검은 밤의 장막에 쌓인 채
                                                                                                                  바깥 어딘가에, 스카게라크를 지나 어딘가에
                                                                                                                  무엇인가 기쁨에 쌓인 밝은 우주,
                                                                                                                  혹은 안개와 같은 먼 곳의 불빛으로 가물거리는
                                                                                                                  외롭고 이름도 없는 별,
                                                                                                                  사실은 존재하지도 않는
                                                                                                                  그런 것들을 생각할 것이다.
                                                                                                                  그렇지만 이것은 사랑의 기술이며
                                                                                                                  살아가는 일의 기술이다.


                                                                                                                  자연이 갖지 못한,
                                                                                                                  진공이 있는 곳의 빛
                                                                                                                  그것을 찾아 헤매는 것은
                                                                                                                  어느 곳에나 있는 날개 달린 암사자나 만능의 우상이나
                                                                                                                  미래를 내다보는 거대한 독수리를 찾는 일과 같을 것이다.

                                                                                                                  그러한 모든 것들을 만들어 내는 노력보다
                                                                                                                  더욱 간단한 것은
                                                                                                                  대지와 물에서 동식물들의 표피를 손쉽게 뽑아내
                                                                                                                  우주에 형성하는 단순한 미립자가 되게 하는 일일 것이다.


                                                                                                                  한밤중에 안개 속을 가리켜 보라.
                                                                                                                  어느 방향이냐고? 아무 곳이나 좋다.
                                                                                                                  문제가 되는 것은 인생이 무엇이냐가 아니라
                                                                                                                  그곳에 있어야 할 것을 믿는 신념이리라.


                                                                                                                  손가락을 들어 어둠 속을 가리켜 보라.
                                                                                                                  가장 높은 목소리를 내려고 노력하는 앨토 가수처럼.
                                                                                                                  그곳에는 별이 하나 있을 것이다.
                                                                                                                  만일 없다면, 비웃는 것을 용서하라.


                                                                                                                  끼니를 놓친 수탉마냥
                                                                                                                  빈약한 먹이를 탓하지 말라.
                                                                                                                  이별로 인해 일그러진 우리들 마음은
                                                                                                                  이렇듯 오직 하늘 높이 치솟으려고 노력하고 있지 않은가.

 

 

                                                                                                                                                     ... 페이스 위그젤에게

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


           

 

David Bisbal - Desnúdate Mujer